Paranoia and Pop Tarts, but you know how we roll

Posts tagged hp

256,712 notes

singleplaidqueer:

queeringfeministreality:

slaythewendybird:

bevsi:

if-dementors-were-pink:

can we just take a moment to imagine little cute nine-year-old hermione reading matilda

and peering into this book about a smart, bookish girl who could move things with her mind

and then can you imagine her concentrating very hard on the books on the bookshelf and slowly, slowly, getting them to move

image

THIS IS MY FAVORITE HEADCANON OF ALL THE HEADCANONS EVER

OMFG YES YES YESSSS

I AM SCREAMING.

Filed under 1 headcanon hp

33,515 notes

siriusblaque:

narcissa malfoy was probably the most powerful occlumens in hogwarts history and nobody knew

she literally stood up to lord voldemort and lied that harry potter was dead and i don’t know about you but if i were an evil ruler i would probably want to triple-check that my nemesis was, you know, actually deceased

voldemort had actual doubts about snape

narcissa swans on by without a whisper, without a second glance

(Source: hrodens, via bubonickitten)

Filed under hp

92,651 notes

lupinslover:

James Potter sat up in the wizard afterlife just watching Fred and George fucking shit up like:

  • LILY THEY HAVE THE MAP
  • LILY LOOK AT THE SWAMP THATS BLOODY BRILLIANT
  • HAHA FUCK FILCH
  • HAHA FUCK UMBRIDGE
  • FUCKING INSANE ASS FIREWORKS LILY LOOK HOW FAR PRANKING HAS EVOLVED
  • I COULD HAVE IMPROVED MY PRANKING EFFICIENCY BY 47% IF HAD WEASLEYS WIZARDS WHEEZES
  • NO FRED DIED

Then when Fred comes to the afterlife James is like I’m a big fan of your work, btw I’m Prongs no need to thank me.

(via vinceravivere)

Filed under hp

31,618 notes

seiya234:

dreamslessordinary:

princess-sparklemullet:

so sometimes i think about harry potter being in the aurors and like

he’d never really thought about child protective services, muggle or otherwise, cause it’d never been relevant, right? like when he was a miserable kid he just thought that was what it was like being an orphan. but then he sees cases come through the department where parents are murdered and there’s kids sitting in their waiting room with copies of the quibbler and water waiting while an auror sits down with a family tree and tries to find whatever relatives this kid might have in the wizarding world, going back maybe even five generations to find anyone living and vaguely related to this child to drop them off with

and he goes to shit apartments in diagon alley after noise complaints and finds children who are black and blue with hexed, bleeding skin who insist they were just playing with a weasley’s wizard wheeze, no really mr. potter

and he thinks about how merope gaunt stumbled into a muggle orphanage and left them a child who would grow up learning fear was the key to harmony, and becoming a god meant safety

and really, how was the headmaster of a school the person who made the call about where he ended up, how was the system so haphazard that a man who wouldn’t be part of his life for another ten years got to make the biggest decision of his life

harry thinks about his cupboard

and then harry potter sits down with hermione and ron and neville (cause of course neville would want a stake in this) and says, “we need to change the wizarding world again.”

and they do.

#the anti-cupboard league#molly weasley knits sweaters with every letter of the alphabet

HEADCANON ACCEPTED! 

(via ladyoflate)

Filed under favorite hp

99,549 notes

jk rowling’s reasoning as to why fenrir greyback turned remus into a werewolf:
remus’s father insulted him so he did it as an act of revenge

the actual reason greyback bit remus:
the temptation to succumb to the fact that biting remus whose name literally means ‘werewolf mcwerewolf’ would be the greatest feat in lycanthropic irony the world had ever seen

Filed under hp

11,691 notes

thewritersramblings asked: CAN WE TALK ABOUT MIDDLE EASTERN WITCHES AND WIZARDS THOUGH. AND HOW THEY'RE SPELLS WOULD OBVIOUSLY NOT BE LATIN, GREEK OR ANGLO SAXON, BUT INSTEAD LIKE ANCIENT PHOENICIAN, OR SOMETHING. AND THAT THEIR TIES BETWEEN SPELLS AND MAGIC WOULD BE STRONGER SINCE THEIR WORDS ARE MORE ANCIENT AND FAR OLDER SO THEY'D BE WAY MORE POWERFUL???? SORRY FOR THE CAPS?????

strawberrypatty:

avatar-trisana:

amarielah:

bramblepatch:

shiraglassman:

avatar-trisana:

thejewsareinspace:

thecompleteillustrated:

petrichorlore:

petrichorlore:

NEVER APOLOGIZE FOR CAPS. PHOENICIAN SPELLS. ARAMAIC SPELLS. LANGUAGES MUGGLES DON’T KNOW ANYMORE THAT HAVE BEEN PRESERVED THROUGH WIZARDING SPELLS IN LITTLE POCKETS OF THE WORLD. SOURCE LANGUAGES NO ONE KNOWS HOW TO ADAPT OR CHANGE ANYMORE BECAUSE THE LANGUAGES HAVE DIED AND PEOPLE ARE AFRAID TO CAUSE LIKE, A NUCLEAR FALLOUT. IM SO EXCITED THANKS FOR THIS.

 (the-writers-ramblings

Witches in secret pockets of Morocco who’ve been casting spells with ancient spices long before wands came about. Warlocks in Egypt who knew the double, magical, meaning behind hieroglyphics. A dead language? Latin and Ancient Greek have NOTHING on hieroglyphs. The veritable cacophany of ideas and spells and magic that the trading routes brought in. The Phoenecians with their many-striped sailboats proudly displayed Persian potion ingredients alongside spelled fishing nets woven by Palestinian wizards. Syrian magical folk meet Greek ones, and realize they can best communicate in the Ancient Greek all serious magical students learn. Curly heads bent over ancient spellbooks, and people stare as they converse in a language not spoken for hundreds of years.

Excuse you but can we not forget the jewish lore masters, poring over their tomes in hebrew and aramaic, preserved from their exiled homeland into the diaspora.

And the development of a syncretic magic in yiddish that mixes the subtle lore and subtle word power of the exiled levantines with the raw brute force of germanic magics. — how else did the golem?

DIASPORA SYNCRETIC MAGICS

jewish wizards offering house elves clothes in accordance with the slave laws

jewish wizards using golems as grunt labor

JEWISH WIZARDS

image

Yes to the Yiddish spells, too ;-)

Jewish wizards offering clothing to house elves and then constantly debating among themselves whether using a golem or other magically-created entity with some semblance of sentience for manual labor for years or decades is essentially the same thing as keeping a magical being for the same purpose.

See also: endless debates about whether one can use magic on Shabbat, and what sorts of magic qualify as “work”. Like, does it count if you enchant an object ahead of time?

Also debates over the extent to which Divination counts as the “witchcraft” detailed in the Tanach. Actually, I bet there’d be scholars compiling detailed tractates about which spells are kosher, using extensive biblical commentary.

JEWISH WIZARDS HAVING THEIR OWN EXTENDED TALMUD. HOW HAS THIS NEVER OCCURRED TO ME BEFORE??

Magic is a natural extension of the self; Therefore, one should be allowed to use magic on Shabbos. You might put restrictions on what kind of magic, and brewing potions (even ones that don’t require heat) and using wands…

I wrote a paper for a Harry Potter conference on foreign wizardry and how the systems of magic must have evolved to be completely separate entities that have very little in common. We’re only seen a TINY portion of the wizarding world and for the most part it’s Western European. I like to imagine Bill Weasley had to extensively train for cursebreaking in Egypt, because you can’t just waltz into a tomb, wave your wand, shout Latin and expect it to work.

I also love the idea of foreign magics being a bit wonky in a duel against each other because they’re not quite compatible. Like, it’s really hard to block a spell from a foreign wizard because you don’t understand exactly what you’re blocking against.

God, so many foreign wizard feels.

This is a plot point in Dumbledore’s Army and the Year of Darkness. The non-WASP DA kids use non-WASP magic because they realize that the Death Eaters don’t know what it is or how to handle it. Even if pureblood Death Eaters knew other types of magic existed, they’d likely discount it as inferior anyway, and likely lose.

Filed under at least one of the kids is jewish and uses magic from that tradition but i can't remember who or what it's been a while hp fanon